Declutter People Who Don’t Spark Joy

Usually when we talk about Decluttering, we refer to objects, things. The truth is, we will be more sustainable if we declutter people and relationships as well. 🙅‍♀️🙋‍♀️🌏

Throughout our lives, we meet different groups of different people we bond with. Some of us didn’t choose them at all, the connections just came about in a random, unintentional way. Some of us chose the connections at a certain stage of our lives and then we went on to “live with them” even when some of these connections no longer fulfilled us or made us really happy or were aligned with where we were now on our lives’ journeys.

As with clothing, we tend to hold onto people who may no longer be right for us. When was the last time, if ever, you asked yourself how you feel about a certain person? Are these high school friends still close to your heart? Does this relative give you strength when needed or do they drain your motivation and constantly criticise your choices and goals?

In my last post on Decluttering Your Social Media I shared questions that help me understand how I feel about people in my world. These are questions that will help you stop and think about whether a particular relationship is happy and healthy or a burden for you. If you ask yourself these questions the answers will come easily. You won’t have to make an effort in order to get them.

Here are some example questions to ask yourself:

  1. What happens to your energy levels when you are in contact with him / her? Do they rise or do you become empty or sad?
  2.  When does this person contact you? When he or she wants you to spend time together or does he or she just pop up when they need something?
  3. Does this person have a good vibe? Do they radiate positive energy? Remember, we are the average of the 5 people closest to us. So ask yourself if the people around you are spreading positivity and joy or are they negative, rude, jealous, gossiping, etc.?
  4. And most importantly, is the person happy with your successes and your development or do they focus on the negative and criticize you?

These are just a few questions we can ask ourselves when we are considering whether to keep a person close to us or “re-release them back out into the wild”.

If you read these questions and some people just jumped out at you in your mind then you know what to do next. Go with your gut.

Maybe the next time someone you have doubts about contacts you, ask yourself at that moment, “How do I feel?”. Some people bring us joy and some people we need to let go.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Lee Snir is one of the founding partners of Legendary Life and is the original author of these blog posts. Lee is an active environmental advocate and in-demand speaker, writer and influencer in her native Israel. These blog posts were originally published in her native Hebrew in her personal blog titled, “Elita Yeruka” (“Green Elite” in English.)

When we translated Lee’s blogs for Legendary Life our goal was to only edit for grammar and clarity but to retain “Lee’s voice”. Thus the editorial choices were to err on the side of not “Americanizing” the language and thus leaving the translated blog as close as possible to the original. Therefore, native English speakers may occasionally find the word choices and phrasing a little different than they are used to.

For those of you who are Hebrew speakers and wish to read the blogs in their original form and follow Lee’s Personal blog you can do so here:

DISCLAIMER: Any statements, opinions or conclusions contained herein are the author’s own and do not necessarily represent the statements, opinions or conclusions of Legendary Life (a Legendary Products, LLC brand), its owners, employees, contractors, affiliates, partners or advertisers.